The Word Sorry

I agreed that I have done wrong in my past. But you reacted too much. Your words hurt. Which I think is too much for a first time mistake and an erasable one. It hurt too deep. And I have kept it inside all this time that why am I the only victim. And I do feel like I don't deserve it. But I keep it shut underneath my chest. Since I am me. I can make it up. I tried. Furthermore, it all began with my single mistake. That you end up reacting like that.

And then we got really awkward. I don't even feel like looking at you. Seeing you. I just wish that one day you'll go away. Or maybe I'll just leave. I've really think of leaving. And the silent moment lasted for quite a while. I have many friends to fill the gap. And I have a good life. I am fine without you. You are nearly forgotten. But everytime we met, I realised that your words, are still not forgotten. It's become a recursion, everytime your face appears. And it is so sicking that I have to see you everyday. The memory keeps on refreshing itself.

Now that I feel your words are heard less in my mind, that I don't even bother even if you're there brushing pass my shoulder, you came with your dearest, apologizing. I do not know what to do. Maybe I just do not want to do anything with it. With you. I pretended I did not hear. But you acted like I already said "It's okay. I forgive you." It's quite impressive, that the word sorry came out from your mouth. I thought we'll end forever like this. But you might not know that this heart is cold, as ice. And I haven't said anything. I just smiled. A fake smile. Though my chest feel like being torn up. Is it that simple? That at the moment I nearly forget everything, you came bringing it up once again. Bringing the hatred up again. This time apologizing?

Feeling guilty? Why did you even feel that? I thought you're the coldest person I've ever met in my life. Just don't show me your pity face please. I've seen that face with a fiercer expression. You cannot deny it. The face is still there. I would not want to face it anymore. Your word of sorry meant something to me, but I don't know what to do with it. Maybe... nothing? Can we be friends? Can we ever be friends? Or maybe we'll just be like those who brushes each others shoulder, just maybe this time we'll smile back. Will we ever do that?