For You Mom

HAPPY

13th May. It's mom's birthday and it's mothers day! Oh I remember how she called me a few days ago sounded not very happy herself. ... She's been happier before.. I just hope she know how a great mom she is to me, that she's my everything and that she deserved to be happy today more than anybody else. Now that I'm living far away from her I can't be there to cheer her up but even if I'm there I won't be of much help either. ... The silly quiet good-of-nothing me. But I'm relieved upon hearing that bro cooked her a deer soup. Yeah, she still have my sister in law and Zaraa home. But still wondering how the soup would taste like...... hehe. Nah, trust me, he's a better cook than me...

Bad thing is that I bought a reload card intending to make a long call to her but then lost it at... nowhere. Dang everything. With credits of RM0.03 cents only I sent her just 2 messages wishing her happy birthday and happy mothers day and the last message I had to spend on a friend...haish. I love u mom. I'm not the type that express what I have inside easily, I can't tell u straightly that I felt sorry a lot. I know that I'm not the perfect child that u had in mind years ago. That in secondary I got easily stressed up with my study and tend to pour it on u sometimes, sorry for troubling u with the school matters, for the laziness to do house chores that came uninvited and unbreakable, for the silent moment when u needed someone to talk with the most, for frequently staying in my room leaving the empty enough living room to feel even more empty, for sometimes putting friends first over you.

But I can give things a deeper thinking now. Thinking of it as maturity or whatever it is, I'm slowly trying to be a daughter that can please u. In every way. And I really hope that it'll work. Because I really really love you. And when your tears drop, immediately mine will too. One day, I'll be someone whom you can be proud of.